Hi. My name is Kat! And I would love to spend time with you!
No, seriously. Of all 87 emotions Brene Brown discusses in her book Atlas of the Heart, there isn’t a single one I want to experience by myself.
Alone. Ever.
("I just want to be alone right now," said Katherine... never.)
Ugh. That is, quite terrifyingly, completely true.
And I’ve been joking about it for so long, and laughing about it for so long, I started downplaying it.
In the years when the kids were little and needed me all the time, it was easy to make it look normal. But now, they are growing up.
Now, I have a high school senior. (See above - the grown up looking girl on the right.)
You have probably met her - she works with me on almost every session!
But navigating the launch of my first kid, and I can suddenly see, with shocking clarity, just how much damage I could do if I don’t address the alone thing.
If I sabotage every opportunity she has to explore, if I diminish every option for her advancement, if I just downplay every possible future she imagines…
Ugh. I could hold her back. I could hold all my kids back.
All it would take is laughing off that alone thing a few more years…
But that is not the future I want for my family tree.
I don’t want to be the mom who refused to look at herself and damaged everybody in her wake. (We all do some of that accidentally anyway!)
So, I’ve been working with my counselor on the alone thing. The roots of it. (Spoiler alert: it's trauma.)
The ways I’ve overcompensated in some areas. (Obviously: by filling my life with people.)
And next steps to address some of my internal motivators that aren’t healthy for launching future world changers. (Yuck. My internal motivations are selfish.)
As a high school senior photographer, the irony of having walked so many moms through this before is not lost on me!
I should know all the things and all the emotions to expect. But my alone thing makes each emotion way bigger than it should be…
So, I’m going to do some hard work this year. (Matt - see above left - is helping tremendously!)
But like all work, I know it is worth it.
And while I am working on capturing the emotional complexity of my own high school senior in her portraits, I can not wait to have yours in front of my lens, as well! The Class of 2024 is already booking - and every senior gets a complementary family session - complete with hair and make up services for Mom. You’re welcome ;-)
With love,
Kat
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